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Forgiveness Mary Ann Collins November 2001
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Ephesians 4:26-27 says, "Be ye angry, and sin not; let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil." God knows that we can't help getting angry sometimes. But He warns us that if we let that anger stay with us, and take root in us, then we will give the devil an opportunity to harm us. According to "Strong's Concordance," the word "place" means a condition, a position, or an opportunity. In military terms, we might say that long-term anger can give the devil a beachhead from which he can attack us. There is such a thing as righteous anger. Americans are right to be angry at the terrorist attack of September 11. We are right to be determined to do whatever it takes to prevent such things from happening again. However, we cannot afford to go around being eaten up with anger. We can fight bin Laden without focussing our lives on being angry at him. Similarly, I have a friend whose husband often beat her severely. One day he deliberately threw her down a flight of stairs and broke her back. She had to leave him to protect her life and the lives of her children. But she also had to forgive him. However, forgiving him did not mean allowing him to keep on abusing her. It meant letting go of him emotionally, releasing him to God, letting God deal with him, and getting on with her life. Leviticus 19:18 says, "Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the Lord." In Deuteronomy 32:35, God says, "To me belongeth vengeance, and recompense; their foot shall slide in due time: for the day of their calamity is at hand, and the things that shall come upon them make haste." God will deal with the people who hurt us. Only God is capable of handling revenge justly, and without being harmed by it. If we try to take care of it, then it will damage us spiritually and emotionally. When God tells us to forgive, He is not telling us to be a doormat. Rather, He is saying, "Don't put your hands on the hot stove. Let me take care of it." In Matthew 6:9-13, Jesus gives us the Lord's prayer. Verse 12 says, "And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors." Then Jesus adds, "For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: but if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." (Matthew 6:14-15) According to this, unless we forgive people who sin against us, God will not forgive us. Matthew 18:23-35 is a parable that Jesus taught about a servant whose debt was so great that he could not repay his master. The master was compassionate and cancelled the servant's debt. Then that servant found a fellow servant who owed him a little money, and had him thrown into debtor's prison because he was unable to pay him. When the master found out about it, he ordered that the servant be turned over to the torturers ("tormenters") until he paid the entire debt (which was impossible to pay, which means that he would be tortured until he died). Jesus warned, "So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses." What does being turned over to the tormenters mean? Is it eternal damnation? Is it misery here on earth? Is it something else? I really don't know. But whatever it is, I sure don't want to experience it. Forgiving people is a small price to pay to avoid being tormented. If you know anybody who is eaten up with bitterness, you have probably seen some of that torment. Everything reminds them of the person they are angry at. Their whole life is focussed on their grievances. They have stress related health problems. Their anger spills over onto their families and causes relationship problems. In their anger, they do things that emotionally damage other people, which may result in those people becoming bitter and tormented. No wonder Hebrews 12:14-15 warns us, "Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord; Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled". We have to forgive, not primarily for the sake of the other person, but for our own sake. We cannot afford to carry bitterness. It will eat us up emotionally and spiritually. Our primary reason for forgiving is in order to protect ourselves. To forgive can be difficult. However, when something is clearly necessary, then we do it, no matter how difficult it is. People who have cancer endure painful and difficult treatments in order to get rid of it. Well, bitterness is a kind of emotional and spiritual cancer. No matter how difficult it is, we have to do whatever it takes to get rid of bitterness. I once had to forgive someone who had hurt me deeply and betrayed my trust so badly that when I thought about this person, I became physically ill. For over two years I kept telling God, "You told me to forgive. I want to obey You. I can't do it. Change my heart. Make me able to forgive. Give me Your heart towards this person. Help me forgive them." Then one day I unexpectedly ran into the person. And it was OK. No trauma. No stress. In fact, I saw their pain and confusion and I prayed for them. God sovereignly enabled me to love my enemy. But I had to persist in continuing to ask God to do it. And I had to cooperate with God's work in my life. The person who had hurt me so badly did not realize the degree of damage that they had caused. This is often the case. "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." (Luke 23:34) George Washington Carver lived at a time when African Americans suffered much injustice. He said, "I will not give any man the power to make me hate him." When people do things that rightly anger us, then we need to forgive the people, give the situation to God, let God take care of it, and get on with our lives. God is more than able to take care of the people and situations that caused us problems. In Philippians 3:10, the Apostle Paul says, "That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death." Nobody had to forgive people more than Jesus did. When He ministered God's love and compassion, the religious leaders of his day said that he was of the devil (Matthew 12:24), and they hated him so much that they plotted to kill him (John 5:18, 7:1). When we have been wronged and need to forgive people, we are sharing in the fellowship of Christ's sufferings. It gives us a greater appreciation of what Jesus went through for us. We know Him better, and we love Him more. It's worth the price. What it costs us to forgive is a small thing compared to the revelation that it gives us of Jesus' love for us.
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Copyright 2001 by Mary Ann Collins. All rights reserved. www.CatholicConcerns.Com |
6/26/04